BATON ROUGE, LA – Louisiana lawmakers expressed mild surprise this week after a federal court struck down the state’s social media age-verification law, citing a previously undocumented issue: most 13-year-olds do not possess government-issued identification.
The law, which required minors to verify their age before accessing social media platforms, was reportedly written under the assumption that children carry wallets containing driver’s licenses, passports, or at minimum a folded DMV receipt.
“We believed kids would simply upload their ID like everyone else,” said one official, later clarifying that by “everyone else” he meant adults. “At no point did anyone raise the possibility that children are not, legally or logistically, allowed to obtain IDs.”
During oral arguments, the court reportedly asked the state how a seventh grader was expected to comply with the law. Attorneys responded by suggesting parents could upload documentation on the child’s behalf, a proposal the judge described as “deeply unsettling” and “a paperwork fetish.”
Supporters of the law maintained it was about protecting children online, though critics noted the policy would have primarily protected websites from minors by making them legally unreachable.
Following the ruling, lawmakers vowed to revisit the issue and draft new legislation better aligned with reality, possibly involving school report cards, permission slips, or a note signed by a responsible adult confirming the child is, in fact, a child.
Tonight, lawmakers were reportedly consulting the DMV to see if Fortnite wins qualify as proof of age.
