CENTRAL, LA – Responding to months of criticism over his proposed $150 million surf lake, Central Mayor Wade Evans announced Tuesday that he is moving forward with a far more ambitious idea, a $400 million casino resort placed directly in the middle of town, “just to simplify the conversation.”
According to the mayor, the casino would feature a luxury hotel, gaming floor, daycare, 24/7 fried chicken buffet, and enough parking to permanently solve Central’s traffic problem by giving everyone somewhere else to be.
“People said the surf lake didn’t fit Central,” Evans said. “So I listened. This is bigger, louder, and far more confusing, which seems to be what everyone really wanted.”
City officials emphasized that the casino proposal is not a pivot, just a natural evolution of his original vision. Plans show the casino sitting roughly where residents assumed nothing like that would ever be built, surrounded by family neighborhoods and at least one Baptist church.
Critics immediately questioned the feasibility of placing a major casino in a small suburban city with no existing gambling infrastructure. The mayor acknowledged the concerns and confirmed that feasibility studies will begin shortly after the city finishes explaining the project to itself.
“If people are going to accuse us of dreaming too big,” Evans said, “we might as well give them something worth arguing about.”
Construction timelines remain unclear, though city leaders confirmed the project would be completed several years before the Hooper at Sullivan widening is done.
