BATON ROUGE, LA – As the federal government shutdown dragged into its record-breaking stretch this week, flights were slashed across the nation. But in Baton Rouge, travelers reported a confusing sense of Deja Vu.
“I thought something was wrong,” said one passenger after his connection to Atlanta was canceled, “but then I realized this is exactly what happened last month when it wasn’t the government’s fault.”
Airport officials confirmed that while the shutdown caused nationwide disruptions, “the Baton Rouge experience remains mostly unchanged.” The average traveler still faces the traditional three-hour delay, lack of gate information, and the unique regional experience of a vending machine that eats your dollar and then mocks you for expecting a refund.
The FAA has ordered a 4% flight reduction, but experts say the average airport inefficiency already exceeds that on any given day.
“It’s nice to finally have an excuse that doesn’t involve ‘weather’ or ‘operational issues,’” one airline representative admitted. “We’ll definitely keep using this one long after the government reopens.”
For many passengers, the chaos has become comforting. “If everything ran smoothly,” one said, “I’d assume the apocalypse was next.”
