ZACHARY, LA – A routine discussion on improving public access to city documents took a hard left Monday night when Councilman James Graves requested that the Streets Department “draw up a map of all the hyperlinks in Zachary so we can see where they go.”
The request came moments after Councilwoman Ambre DeVirgilio introduced a proposal to add online hyperlinks to ordinance drafts. What she described as “a basic modern convenience” was immediately met with Graves’ concern that the city needed to “track them like power lines” before approving anything.
“I’m not voting on some mystery portals until I know exactly where they’re located,” Graves said. “Are they under the roads? Do they run past neighborhoods? Can kids get into them? Someone needs to explain this.”
DeVirgilio explained that hyperlinks weren’t physical objects, prompting Graves to reply, “Right, I know that… but if they were physical, where would we keep them?”
The chamber briefly fell silent as Graves insisted the city “color-code the hyperlink lines” and verify none were “crossing over into private property.”
The Zachary Streets Department Superintendent later confirmed they would not be producing such a map, noting that hyperlinks “do not exist in any physical form,” to which Graves responded, “Well, they should.”
A member of the Zachary Council said they considered emailing Graves a link to this story but admitted he probably wouldn’t know what to do with it, so they’ll just print it out and leave it in his box at City Hall.
