BATON ROUGE, LA – In a stunning turn of honesty, state leaders now say they weren’t serious when they told residents of St. George they’d need to become a city before applying for their own school district.

“We assumed they’d take the hint, get frustrated, and go away,” one official confessed. “We didn’t expect them to actually do it.”

After about 14 years of legal battles, court decisions, and the uphill climb of incorporation, St. George is now a functioning city with a fully developed plan for a new school system. The state’s response?
“Oh… y’all were serious about that?”

The plan’s structure, community backing, and overall preparedness have alarmed several Baton Rouge leaders, who are more accustomed to improvised governance and failure after failure. Some are now openly suggesting the process moved “too efficiently” to be trusted.

Adding to the irony: the current East Baton Rouge school superintendent, Lamont Cole, publicly fought to stop St. George’s creation just last year as a Metro Council member.

Lawmakers are now reportedly reviewing new requirements for future breakaway school districts—including mandatory dysfunction, at least one ethics complaint, and no less than a five-year period of aimless studies.