WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking turn of events, the recent NOAA layoffs have had absolutely no impact on weather forecasting, as meteorologists continue their time-honored tradition of playing it safe with “partly cloudy” predictions.
Despite public outcry over the cuts, national weather reports remain virtually unchanged, with forecasts still ranging from “possible rain” to “could be sunny” with zero actual commitment. “Honestly, we’ve been coasting for years,” admitted one veteran forecaster. “Nobody’s really checking if we’re right anyway.”
Meanwhile, panicked citizens who feared weather predictions would crumble without NOAA’s full staff were relieved to find that their local news anchors could still confidently mislead them about weekend rain chances.
Experts assure the public that as long as Doppler radar exists and meteorologists can shrug convincingly on live TV, the weather forecast will remain as accurate as ever.
