In a stunning turn of events, Greenpeace is set to be inducted into the Oil Industry Hall of Fame after its record-breaking $667 million court-ordered payment to Energy Transfer. The environmental group, once a staunch opponent of fossil fuels, now holds the title of largest financial contributor to the oil industry this century—an honor usually reserved for oil barons and corporate executives.
“Greenpeace’s generosity is unmatched,” said an ExxonMobil spokesperson. “Many companies claim to support the industry, but few are willing to put their money where their mouth is like this.”
The induction ceremony, set to take place at an undisclosed offshore drilling platform, will feature speeches from industry leaders praising Greenpeace for its “unwavering commitment to pipeline profitability.” Greenpeace has yet to confirm attendance but is rumored to be considering a rebrand as an “oil-neutral” organization in an attempt to regain financial stability.
Industry insiders say BP and Shell have reached out to Greenpeace to explore “collaborative funding efforts,” hinting that Big Oil sees the group as a promising new revenue stream.
