BATON ROUGE, La. – Louisiana officials declared a state of emergency after the Wearin’ of the Green Parade, originally set for Saturday, was postponed to Sunday, causing an unexpected beer crisis across the city. With an extra day to prepare (and pregame), revelers doubled down on their drinking efforts, overwhelming bars, gas stations, and grocery stores, which ran out of beer before noon.
“This was worse than the 2019 Bud Light Crisis,” said a bartender at Ivar’s, wiping down an empty bar. “At one point, people were just ordering whatever was left—someone actually drank a Michelob Ultra seltzer and called it ‘fine.’”
At Zippy’s, desperate parade-goers reportedly attempted to barter for beer, offering beads, sunglasses, and in one case, a pet turtle.
Governor Jeff Landry allegedly considered activating the National Guard to airlift emergency beer shipments, but sources say all available troops were still “somewhere on the parade route.”
In response to the chaos, city officials are now considering an ‘Emergency Booze Plan’ for 2026, which would require every Baton Rouge resident to stockpile at least one case of beer ahead of parade weekend. “We can’t let this happen again,” said one concerned official, while pouring himself a whiskey.
