BATON ROUGE, La. – Baton Rouge residents were stunned to learn today that the city’s public bus system is, in fact, operational—just in time for drivers to announce a strike set to begin Monday. The Capital Area Transit System (CATS) strike has the potential to cause chaos throughout the city, or at least, it would if anyone actually rode the buses.
“I can’t lie, it’s gonna be tough,” said one striking driver. “I’m gonna miss zoning out on my route while browsing ghettowaze2.0 on Instagram and pretending to look for passengers.”
City officials are scrambling to assess the potential impact, only to realize that bus stops will remain just as deserted as they were before. “We initially feared a major disruption, but after reviewing our ridership data, it turns out there’s not much left to disrupt,” admitted a transportation official.
Reacting to the crisis, CATS CEO Theo Richards has announced a bold personal sacrifice. “I spent the night in deep prayer, seeking guidance on how to navigate this difficult time,” he said. “The Lord spoke to me, and in His wisdom, He told me to cancel the order on my 2026 Denali and cut my 2025 salary increase from 85% to a humble 80%. It’s the least I can do for the community.”
Drivers say their biggest challenge will be letting people know the strike is even happening.
