WASHINGTON, DC – In a familiar move, 51 high-profile celebrities and politicians have signed a letter declaring that the newly released Epstein documents bear “all the classic earmarks of a Russian disinformation campaign.”
The statement, widely circulated by mainstream media, warns the public not to fall for “baseless, foreign-sourced conspiracy theories” and insists that any names listed were “likely inserted by hostile actors to sow division.” Experts urge Americans to stay focused on the real threats—like misinformation, climate change, and upcoming elections.
Bill Clinton, an alleged frequent flyer on Epstein’s jet, dismissed the controversy, saying, “I just wanna say, once again, I had no knowledge of any wrongdoing. This is all just a big misunderstanding. Now, uh—hold on a sec… is that her in that picture? Wow. She really grew u—uh, I mean… I’ve never seen this person in my life and this is all one big lie.”
Meanwhile, the FBI has vowed to investigate—who leaked the documents, not what’s in them.
