ALBANY, La. – The town of Albany, Louisiana rolled out its new streaming gumbo service today, aptly named RouxTube. Unfortunately a boil advisory had to be immediately issued because the service is only dispensing cold gumbo.

Mayor Eileen Bates-McCarroll assured the public that the gumbo is perfectly safe but must be boiled before consumption. “It’s just like a regular boil advisory, except instead of bacteria, you’re fighting off the disappointment of cold roux,” she told The Sadvocate while stirring a pot filled directly from her kitchen sink.

RouxTube comes in three subscription levels: 1- Tap Water Gumbo (Free Plan) – Thin, barely-seasoned broth with a hint of regret. 2 – Bayou Deluxe ($14.99/month) – Medium-thick gumbo with surprise proteins and occasional faucet clogs. 3 – RouxPrime ($29.99/month) – Triple-thick, Cajun-approved gumbo with unlimited potato salad injections.

Despite the initial hiccups, Albany officials remain confident that RouxTube will revolutionize home dining. “People used to dream about flying cars—meanwhile, we got gumbo straight from the tap out here in Albany,” said Bates-McCarroll. “Once we stop people from running extension hoses to their cousin’s trailer for family-style service, we’ll finally have this thing under control.”