Mandie Landry Takes Aim at AI in Campaigns, Says Only Human Lies Should Be Allowed
Louisiana may soon regulate campaign honesty, but only the artificial kind. A new bill targets AI in ads, leaving the state’s long tradition of human-crafted deception fully protected.
Jeff Landry Suggests Resolving Iran Conflict By Air Dropping Caniac Combos Over The Region “Until Everyone Calms Down”
Global tensions may be rising, but Jeff Landry believes the solution is simple: air drop enough Cane’s into the region until everyone settles down and starts thinking clearly.
Man Completes Errand On Siegen Lane In Under 2 Hours, Declared Local Legend
A Baton Rouge man completed a full errand on Siegen Lane in under two hours, prompting officials to investigate what they’re calling a “temporary and highly suspicious lapse in traffic conditions.”
St. George Man Celebrates One Year Anniversary of Attempting Left Turn at Pecue and Highland
A St. George man marked one full year attempting a single left turn at Pecue and Highland, as family celebrated roadside and officials confirmed solutions remain under extended, ongoing study.
Baton Rouge Residents Begin Measuring Distance in “How Many Red Lights” Instead of Miles
Residents say the new system finally reflects reality, where a “quick trip” can mean sitting through four lights and watching the same car next to you age in real time.
CATS Says Emailing Bank Statement Monthly Impossible Due to Ongoing Shortage Of Non-Arrested Employees
CATS officials say a simple monthly task, downloading a bank statement, attaching it to an email, and clicking send, isn’t feasible given current staffing challenges.
Driver Successfully Completes LSU Lakes Loop Without Getting Stuck Behind Jogger, Calls It ‘Best Day of My Life’
A Baton Rouge driver just completed the LSU Lakes loop without getting stuck behind a jogger, and honestly, we’re not sure the city is ready for this kind of progress.
Farmers Market Opens Along Shoulder for Drivers Waiting at Pecue and Airline Hwy Traffic Light
If you’re stuck at Pecue and Airline, don’t worry, there’s now a farmers market, fresh crawfish, and DoorDash delivery for drivers still waiting on their 54th light cycle to get through the intersection.
WAFB Finalizes Purchase of The Sadvocate, Names Steve Caparotta as First-Ever Chief of Satirical News Division
WAFB announced its acquisition of The Sadvocate, naming chief meteorologist Steve Caparotta as head of a new Satirical News Division in a move expanding its digital footprint.
Louisiana Officials Assure Residents Land Seizures Will Only Occur Where Land Exists Following HB7 Defeat
Members of the state legislature reassured residents that land seizures tied to carbon capture projects will occur only where land exists, and not anywhere else, following the defeat of a bill aimed at protecting property owners.
Will Wade Targets NBA YoungBoy for LSU Basketball, Citing Toosii’s Impact on Football Program
LSU may have just unlocked a completely new recruiting strategy, and Will Wade is already taking it to the next level.
Louisiana Named Most Stressful State, Officials Say Results Skewed by I-10 Traffic Alone
Louisiana just got ranked the most stressful state, but officials say the results are skewed by one very specific Baton Rouge experience that locals already consider a daily survival exercise.
Two Years After Collapse, Baltimore Begins Rebuilding Bridge As Baton Rouge Enters Year 26 Of Study Phase
Baltimore went from total bridge collapse to active construction in two years. Baton Rouge officials say they’re making similar progress, now entering another phase of reviewing previous discussions.
LSU Confirms Toosii Will Play Both Offense and Halftime Show to Maximize NIL Value
LSU confirmed Toosii will play both offense and halftime, listing him as “WR/Artist” in a move officials say maximizes NIL efficiency and gives fans something to enjoy even if the offense stalls.
Local HOA Meeting Descends Into Chaos After No Kings Protesters Attempt to ‘Dethrone’ President
A Baton Rouge HOA meeting devolved into chaos after No Kings protesters attempted to “dethrone” the neighborhood president, citing lawn rules and fines as evidence of suspicious authority.
Jeff Landry Taps Baton Rouge Traffic Engineers to Design Underground Carbon Storage, Ensuring It Goes Absolutely Nowhere
Landry says hiring Baton Rouge traffic engineers guarantees captured carbon will experience immediate delays, no clear path forward, and absolutely no chance of going anywhere.
Rick Edmonds Proposes Renaming I-10 “Donald Trump Expressway,” Expects Thousands to Stop Using It Immediately
Officials may have finally found a way to fix Baton Rouge traffic, and it doesn’t involve new lanes, just convincing thousands of drivers to avoid I-10 entirely.
Trump Bridge Plan Advances, Officials Confirm It Will Be Built Right After Everyone Calms Down
Officials confirmed construction will begin immediately after Louisiana residents achieve the unprecedented milestone of 24 consecutive hours without arguing about politics online or in traffic.
Elon Musk Confirms Colonizing Mars Will Still Be Easier Than Getting NOLA Tunnel Approved
Elon Musk confirmed colonizing Mars will be easier than getting a New Orleans tunnel approved after his first meeting produced three committees, zero decisions, and a follow-up meeting.
City Park Golf Course to Seamlessly Integrate With LSU Lakes Project’s 35-Year Timeline
City officials say the redesigned City Park course will allow golfers to play alongside active construction, creating a “shared experience” with the LSU Lakes project for the next 35 years.
State Officials Order 3 Studies to Add Additional TSA Lane at BTR, Completion Timeline Unclear
State officials have ordered three studies to determine if adding a TSA lane would improve movement, though concerns remain that it could accidentally make things faster.
Delta Utilities Clarifies Bills Are Not Higher, Customers Are Just Poorer Than Before
Delta Utilities clarified that rising bills are not the result of increased rates, but rather customers experiencing what it called a “decline in financial durability” across Baton Rouge.
Trump Left Speechless as Rick Edmonds PAC Breaks Record for Most People Offended in 30 Seconds
Trump reportedly froze mid-sentence after watching a 30-second Edmonds super PAC ad, marking the first documented instance of the president being completely, undeniably speechless.
Landry to Relocate Gulf Seafood Into Strategic Petroleum Reserve Where Oil Levels Are Currently Lower
State officials say shrimp are already adapting to storage tanks, as fishermen question whether future catches will be labeled seafood, crude, or some federally approved combination.
State Announces Insurance Relief Will Arrive Shortly After Residents Can No Longer Afford It
State leaders confirmed lower rates are coming soon, assuming residents can maintain coverage long enough to eventually experience the savings.
Chicago School Officials Say Former EBR Head Offers “Rare Ability to Spend $160 Million Without Causing Measurable Change”
Chicago officials praised the former EBR Superintendent’s ability to convert millions into strategic plans, meetings, and studies, calling it “a level of consistency we rarely see at this scale.”
Cassidy Campaign Manager Resigns After Learning Candidate Also Adds Kale to Etouffee
A campaign manager reportedly resigned after learning Cassidy put kale in his etouffee, saying voting to impeach Trump was easier to explain than greens in Cajun cooking.
Ruth’s Chris Reminds Baton Rouge Guests Business Casual Does Not Mean a Freshly Ironed Fishing Shirt
Several local diners said they plan to comply with the policy by simply wearing their nicest fishing shirt, which they insist is “the one without the sunscreen stains.”
SNAP Recipients File Lawsuit After Learning 4 Pounds of Fruit Roll-Ups Do Not Qualify as Produce
A group of SNAP recipients filed a federal lawsuit after discovering grocery stores had begun classifying bulk quantities of Fruit Roll-Ups as candy rather than produce, prompting claims of discrimination against “fruit-forward diets.”
LSU Says Releasing Athlete Pay Records to Media Would Jeopardize Ongoing Negotiations With Several High-End Car Dealerships
LSU says releasing athlete pay records could disrupt several delicate negotiations currently underway with high-end car dealerships, warning the disclosures could create serious competitive disadvantages in recruiting.