Parents Support Later School Start Times—Now Have 30 Extra Minutes to Argue Over Lunches
EBR schools are planning to start later next year—and not just because kids are tired, but because everyone’s tired of pretending they aren’t.
After 13,000 Absences, EBR School Board Declares Victory Over Overcrowding
Baton Rouge schools celebrate empty desks as a win against overcrowding—13,000 absent students means more “room to grow.”
EBR School Superintendent Announces Realignment Plan: ‘Fewer Schools, Same Problems’
The East Baton Rouge School Board has officially voted to consolidate campuses in a move they claim will solve financial issues — while leaving academic and disciplinary problems delightfully untouched. Officials promise “fewer schools, same headaches” by the start of the next school year.
Officials Baffled as ‘No Raises for Teachers’ Signs Work While ‘No Weapons’ Signs Fail
Baton Rouge schools have cracked the code: If only “Gun-Free Zone” signs worked as well as “No Raises for Teachers” signs, crime would be nonexistent. Officials consider bigger fonts as a solution.
New Orleans Solves Teacher Shortage by Hiring Unconvicted Felons
Struggling with failing schools and skyrocketing crime, city officials have found a two-for-one solution: hiring criminals as teachers.