Post-Jailbreak Donations Drop So Low, Hutson Campaign Now Accepting Canned Goods
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Facing the kind of financial drought usually reserved for abandoned vending machines, Orleans Parish Sheriff Susan Hutson’s re-election campaign has officially entered barter mode. After raising a mere $155 in the wake of a jail escape and a mistaken inmate release, Hutson’s team is pivoting to alternative donations, namely canned corn, […]
Escape Room Franchise Sues Orleans Parish Jail for Copyright Infringement
Sheriff Susan Hutson denies OPSO is an entertainment venue, though admits, “at this point, maybe we should start charging admission.”
New Orleans Escapee Caught After Binging Shawshank Redemption on Jail’s Wi‑Fi and Netflix Account
After six weeks on the run, Massey was undone by his commitment to streaming jailbreak films on the jail’s own Wi-Fi connection.
Fugitive Antoine Massey Enters Orleans Sheriff Race, Promises to Catch Himself Within First 100 Days in Office
Still at large but polling higher than the current sheriff, Antoine Massey has officially entered the Orleans Parish sheriff’s race. His platform? Fixing the same system he broke out of—and pledging to catch himself “within the first 100 days in office.”
Escapee’s Mom Arrested After Sending “Y’all Be Safe” Text to Entire Escapee Group Chat
Orleans Parish officials have arrested a mother for sending a supportive “Y’all be safe” text to a group chat tied to a jail escape. Authorities say it amounts to aiding and abetting—because in Louisiana, even moral support can land you a seat in the back of a squad car.
New Orleans DA Suggests Letting Escapees Finish Sentences via Zoom to Free Up Police Resources
Orleans DA Jason Williams is now offering escaped inmates the option to finish their sentences via Zoom—eliminating the need for costly manhunts while maintaining “virtual accountability.” Weekly check-ins and slideshow consequences included. Attendance optional, rehabilitation assumed.
Orleans Sheriff Announces Escapees Can Now Serve Time Remotely via Zoom
Orleans Parish officials now say escaped inmates can serve time remotely—as long as they turn themselves in and keep their Zoom cameras on.