Louisiana Officials Confirm Calling to Report a Hands-Free Violation is Also a Hands-Free Violation
Louisiana officials confirmed that calling police to report a hands-free driving violation also counts as a hands-free violation, effectively ensuring every concerned citizen remains equally guilty.
EBR Metro Council Tables Access Badge Investigation to Focus on More Important Matter of Who Keeps Taking the Good Stapler
The Metro Council has officially shelved the Wade Evans badge drama to tackle a far greater internal crisis: the ongoing disappearance of the one good stapler.
Carbon Capture Executives Celebrate: “Finally, a Pollution Crisis We Get Paid to Cause”
Carbon capture has given industry executives the perfect business model. Profit from the pollution, then profit again from pretending to clean it up.
LSU Cancels Ticket Price Hike Amid Backlash, Introduces Mandatory $35 Fee to Leave Stadium
After criticism of rising game-day costs, LSU announced a new policy: no increase to ticket prices, but a mandatory $35 Stadium Exit Fee will be charged when fans leave the game.
Wildlife & Fisheries and OMV Partnership Saves Time by Combining Two Broken Systems Into One
Louisiana has streamlined inefficiency by combining the Office of Motor Vehicles with Wildlife & Fisheries. Now, residents can lose patience, time, and sanity in one unified location, proving government innovation means taking two broken systems and duct-taping them into a slightly larger broken system.