ST GEORGE, LA – Fresh off weeks of spirited debate over welcome signs and street signs, St. George officials learned Tuesday that replacing the aging coffee maker inside City Hall had somehow become the city’s latest public controversy mostly among people who don’t even live in the city.
According to concerned residents, the new $39.95 machine from Walmart raises a number of serious questions, including whether the previous coffee maker had truly reached the end of its useful life, whether multiple bids were obtained, and whether municipal employees actually needed fresh coffee in the first place.
“This is exactly how it starts,” one commenter from Scotlandville wrote online. “First it’s coffee, then who knows what’s next. A water cooler? I’m so over this unnecessary spending.”
Others questioned whether the city should be making coffee at all until every road is smooth, every ditch is clean, every traffic light is perfectly synchronized, and every other issue facing south Louisiana has been permanently solved.
Several citizens called for a full public records request covering every coffee filter, stir stick, packet of sweetener, and creamer purchased since the city’s incorporation.
Officials thanked everyone who doesn’t live in St. George for their passionate oversight of the city’s coffee maker, noting it appeared to generate more public outrage than when Baton Rouge Councilman Cleve Dunn Jr. was federally indicted on nine felony counts, including public bribery, money laundering, public contract fraud, theft over $25,000, criminal conspiracy, prohibited splitting of profits, fees, or commissions, and malfeasance in office.
