NUUK – Preparing Louisiana for what officials continue to describe as a “very realistic Arctic expansion,” Governor Jeff Landry signed an executive order Monday expanding constitutional carry to include harpoons traditionally used in Greenland.
Landry said the move was about respecting cultural norms while maintaining Louisiana’s commitment to personal freedom, even when that freedom involves a six-foot spear designed to penetrate ice and 12 inches of blubber.
“A harpoon is just a tool,” Landry said. “If someone can responsibly carry one through frozen terrain, I see no reason they can’t responsibly conceal it at one of the many festivals in Louisiana that make this state great and always in the top 10 for obesity.
The order allows licensed carriers to conceal harpoons so long as they are “reasonably hidden,” a standard officials admitted will be interpreted loosely and enforced inconsistently. Acceptable concealment methods include heavy fur garments, Mardi Gras costumes, or simply standing very still.
State leaders emphasized the policy is proactive, ensuring a smooth cultural transition once Greenland formally becomes a US territory.
Critics questioned how a harpoon could be concealed at all. The administration responded by accusing them of opposing both tradition and freedom, then immediately adjourned the press conference.
