BATON ROUGE, LA – In a development scientists are calling “statistically impossible,” Louisiana auto insurance companies have filed rate decreases after a drop in accidents in 2024. The move left executives shaken, with many describing the experience as “traumatic” and “counter to everything we stand for.”
“Look, it was a one-time thing,” one insurer clarified. “People are treating this like it’s the start of a trend. It’s not. This was a clerical error, one we won’t make again.”
Industry leaders insist they remain committed to the time-honored tradition of raising rates regardless of reality. “Fewer wrecks? Normally that means higher premiums to cover lost revenue. Honestly, we’re embarrassed this decrease slipped through.”
Meanwhile, Louisiana drivers are reacting with optimism. “I thought the letter was a scam,” said one motorist. “Turns out my bill really did go down. I don’t know whether to celebrate or expect a $900 ‘correction fee’ next month.”
Officials reassured residents: normal rate hikes will resume shortly.
