BATON ROUGE, La. – Facing growing skepticism over the value of inspection stickers, Louisiana lawmakers are considering a bill to end traditional vehicle inspections and instead require annual wheel alignments as proof of road worthiness.

“Why check brake lights and washer fluid levels when most cars in this state are already practically driving sideways hitting potholes?” asked one lawmaker. “Let’s just focus on what really matters—can it still steer straight?”

The proposed legislation would eliminate outdated sticker inspections in favor of mandatory front-end alignments at certified tire shops. Proof of alignment would be displayed via a small dashboard-level sticker that reads “Still Mostly Straight.”

Auto shops across the state are cautiously optimistic, calling it “a rare moment where government dysfunction actually sends us customers.”

Under the new system, drivers with misaligned wheels would be issued a warning and directed to the nearest certified alignment shop—or, in rural parishes, a guy named Earl who “eyeballs it pretty good.”

Coincidentally, the first and only shop in the state that qualified to receive official certification for the inaugural year of the program is Landry’s Alignment Service which, oddly enough, opened 7 new locations in Louisiana last month after receiving a healthy grant from the state.