Political analysts say Democratic strategist James Carville has entered a rare psychological state known as Trump Dependency Syndrome, where every thought, emotion, and measurable brainwave is triggered exclusively by the former president’s continued existence.
Sources close to Carville report that his day begins not with coffee, but with a fresh headline about Donald Trump, which he reads aloud before muttering, “that son of a bitch,” and power-walking around his home office until lunch. “If Trump disappeared tomorrow,” one aide said, “James would just stand there, twitching, waiting for CNN to reload.”
Doctors observing Carville say his blood pressure spikes anytime Trump speaks, his heart rate stabilizes during indictments, and his sleep is filled with dreams involving orange jumpsuits and public shaming ceremonies. “His entire metabolism is now running on outrage fumes,” one neurologist explained. “He’s basically an appliance powered by Fox News clips.”
Friends say they tried introducing Carville to new hobbies like gardening or woodworking, but each ended with him screaming about voter fraud at freshly stained coffee table.
