Baton Rouge Postal App Replaces Tracking Info With Laughing Emoji
USPS in Baton Rouge no longer pretends to know where your package is. Instead, users now receive a laughing emoji in place of tracking info—because pretending it’s coming was getting awkward.
Kid Rock to Perform in Livingston, Experts Seeing Spike in Jorts Sales
Kid Rock is bringing his denim-clad chaos to Livingston Parish, and local stores are bracing for a surge in jorts, flag bandanas, and mullet-related grooming emergencies. Experts are calling it “a fashion crisis wrapped in freedom.”
BRPD Quietly Removes ‘Beer Runs’ as Acceptable Use of Police Vehicles After Zachary Crash
After a BRPD officer reportedly wrecked a patrol car while over the legal limit, the department quietly changed policy to clarify that police vehicles aren’t for booze errands—something most assumed didn’t need to be written down.
Central Mayor Storms Baton Rouge City Hall Demanding Credit for Discovering The Sadvocate
Central Mayor Wade Evans says he dove under a Spanish Town float for a Sadvocate tumbler, printed his own shirt, and now Baton Rouge is trying to ride the irony wave he created. “Pick a different fake news source,” he demanded.
DOTD: Bridge Damage Not a Problem, Unless You’re One of Those ‘Wants-to-Survive’ Types
While thousands cross the Mississippi River Bridge daily, DOTD says there’s no cause for concern—unless you’re one of those high-maintenance types who prefers structural integrity and bridges that don’t resemble aging drywall.