NEW YORK, NY – WNBA players are threatening to strike over low pay and poor travel conditions, sparking concerns that their already sparse game attendance could somehow drop even further. Experts warn that if the strike proceeds, arenas may see attendance numbers plummet from “barely noticeable” to “mathematically impossible.”

“We deserve better,” said Angel Reese, addressing a concerned crowd of approximately 14, most of whom were family members. Meanwhile, ESPN executives nervously debated whether they’d even have to acknowledge the strike, given that most Americans still don’t know the season has started.

League officials are reportedly exploring solutions, including asking the NBA for financial support or holding games in high school gymnasiums to make crowds appear larger.

For now, the players remain firm in their demands, while WNBA ticket scalpers everywhere brace for a devastating $16 loss in future revenue.