DOGE’s Audit of New Orleans Halted After Team Gets Carjacked by 14-Year-Olds
DOGE’s attempt to audit New Orleans ended abruptly when their government vehicle was stolen. Mayor Cantrell shrugged it off, calling it “just kids bein’ kids.”
Local Porch Pirates Upset After Learning Most of the Packages They Stole Were Just Amazon Returns
A group of criminals in Baton Rouge were left in shock after realizing their stolen packages contained nothing but Amazon returns—half-used air fryers, mismatched socks, and phone chargers nobody wanted.
Mayor Cantrell Confuses Fifth Amendment With a Fifth of Hennessy at Hearing
Mayor Cantrell shocked legal experts when she pleaded the Fifth during an NOPD hearing—only to later clarify she was actually talking about the fifth of Hennessy she drank beforehand.