McKernan Splits Cost of Landry’s Jet, Gets Exclusive Rights to Aerial Advertising
Governor Jeff Landry’s new $5.5 million jet won’t just fly officials—it’ll advertise Gordon McKernan. The attorney agreed to cover half the cost in exchange for prime fuselage ad space. Critics call it absurd, but McKernan insists it’s public safety. “With all these plane crashes lately, I realized my billboards weren’t reaching people where they needed me most—the sky.” Meanwhile, rival E. Eric Guirard rejected a snack coordinator role, only to settle for changing batteries in airport marshalling wands.
EBR School Superintendent Offers Job to Alleged School Bus Thief
Today the head of EBR Schools, Lamont Cole, offered the man who is alleged to have stolen one of his school buses a job as a driver with the school system.
Livingston Parish Sheriff Infiltrates Exclusive Squatted Truck Club With Decoy Tahoe
In a bold operation dubbed “Half Lift Havoc,” the Livingston Parish Sheriff’s Office successfully lured dozens of squatted trucks to a snow covered Walmart parking lot by promising free unlimited Monster Energy drinks, LED light bars, and a burnout contest.