LSU Student Designs AI to Prevent Wrecks—It Just Keeps Recommending ‘Move Out of Baton Rouge’
While some hoped LSU’s AI would revolutionize traffic safety, it instead took one look at Florida Boulevard and immediately scheduled its own out-of-state transfer. LADOTD remains optimistic, calling the results “unexpectedly accurate.”
West Baton Rouge Pursuit Ends Peacefully as Suspect Chooses Jail Over I-10 Bridge at 4PM
A high-speed chase ended when the suspect saw he was approaching the I-10 bridge at 5 p.m. and voluntarily surrendered. Deputies say the man weighed jail time against Baton Rouge traffic and made what they’re calling “the sane choice.”
New College Drive Exit Ramp Promises ‘Faster Access to Traffic You Already Hate’
After years of construction delays and driver complaints, Baton Rouge has unveiled its new College Drive exit ramp—just in time to funnel commuters into the same traffic they’ve always loathed. DOTD says it will “dramatically enhance the experience of going nowhere,” promising faster access to brake lights, honking, and existential regret.
State Offers Discounted Auto Insurance to Anyone Who Agrees to Stop Driving in Baton Rouge
Governor Jeff Landry has unveiled a new plan offering insurance discounts to drivers who agree to avoid Baton Rouge altogether. The initiative targets high premiums by rewarding residents who stay off city roads, citing traffic chaos, reckless drivers, and street violence as reasons to keep cars—and people—elsewhere.
DOGE’s Audit of New Orleans Halted After Team Gets Carjacked by 14-Year-Olds
DOGE’s attempt to audit New Orleans ended abruptly when their government vehicle was stolen. Mayor Cantrell shrugged it off, calling it “just kids bein’ kids.”
Dozens of CATS Bus Drivers Unable to Attend Their Own Strike Due to Lack of Buses
The CATS bus strike faced an unexpected challenge today—most of the striking drivers couldn’t make it to the picket line because they rely on the bus to get there.