Greg Sankey Says LSU Has Left Him No Choice But To Tell His Mom
After rules, lawsuits and threats of expulsion failed to resolve the LSU dispute, Greg Sankey is reportedly preparing the SEC’s most serious escalation yet.
Jeff Landry Renames New Iberia ‘New Louisiana,’ Orders Haircut To Remain Historically Protected
New Iberia may be getting a new name, but Louisiana officials say its most important cultural treasure isn’t going anywhere.
Louisiana Officials Assure Residents SpaceX Rockets Will Be Much Quieter Than Neighbor’s Airboat
Louisiana officials have heard your concerns about rocket noise. Then they heard an airboat.
Oak Point Fresh Market Adds “Forgot What My Wife Sent Me For” Waiting Area Near Front Entrance
The new waiting area comes equipped for shoppers working from grocery lists containing instructions like “the same one we always get.”
New Livingston Parish Subdivisions Celebrate Being Flood-Proof After Redirecting Rain Water To Older Subdivisions
New Livingston Parish subdivisions have discovered the easiest way to become flood-proof is to make sure the water ends up in somebody else’s yard.
BREC Sends Local Mom Cease & Desist Letter After Posting “Beautiful Day At Highland Road Park”
Fresh off its trademark dispute with Friends of City Park Baton Rouge, BREC is reportedly expanding enforcement to taxpayers who recklessly use the names of the parks they fund.
New Orleans Proposes $850 Float Fee, Assures Krewes Money Will Be Wasted Responsibly
New Orleans found something rolling through the city that wasn’t being charged a fee. That problem may soon be fixed.
New Florida Boulevard Zoning Ordinance Requires Used Tire Shop Every 200 Feet
City planners looked at five tire shops in a quarter mile and identified the obvious problem: there was still some unused space.
South Korea Prepares for NBA YoungBoy’s Arrival With 100 Raising Cane’s and 300 Gordon McKernan Billboards
Moving thousands of miles from Baton Rouge can be difficult, so South Korea is importing the complete local experience.
BREC Unveils $125 Million City-Brooks Park Compromise Designed to Make Everyone Equally Furious
Baton Rouge has finally achieved compromise: everybody gets something they don’t want.
EBR Metro Council Considers Requiring Permits for Downtown Fights Involving More Than Six People
Baton Rouge leaders are considering a permit system designed to make downtown violence safer, more orderly, and significantly more bureaucratic.
Insurance Company Offers Discount to Louisiana Drivers If They Agree Never To Drive
A new Louisiana insurance program rewards customers who promise to never drive, proving the cheapest accident is the one that never happens.
Baton Rouge Residents Demand Investigation Into Whether St. George Really Needed A New Coffee Maker
Critics immediately questioned whether the previous coffee maker had truly reached the end of its useful life, while others demanded to know why government employees needed fresh coffee in the first place.
East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office Replaces Entire Central Substation Staff With Pastor Tony Spell
According to officials, 911 operators will first attempt to de-escalate disturbances by simply texting everyone involved a photo of Pastor Tony Spell.
Central Church Pastor Enters UFC Transfer Portal Following Breakout Performance
After a surprise breakout performance thrust him into the spotlight, Central pastor Tony Spell announced he has officially entered the UFC Transfer Portal to explore opportunities at the next level.
Officials Report Sharp Increase In Daytime Altima Sightings Following Inspection Sticker Repeal
Officials say thousands of previously hidden Altimas have begun emerging during daylight hours following the inspection sticker repeal.
Livingston Parish Waterways Closed After Officials Detect Dangerous Levels Of Natty Light
State officials say the waterways should reopen once Natty Light concentrations fall below Louisiana’s recreational beer threshold.
Cajuns Demand Congressional District From Lafayette To Wherever Their Cousins Live
Louisiana lawmakers may be redrawing congressional maps, but Cajuns say the process won’t be fair until every cousin, camp, and boudin shop is represented in the same district.
West Baton Rouge Parish Introduces “Signature Reserve Collection” of Public Information
West Baton Rouge officials are reportedly defending luxury-priced public records by reminding taxpayers they only paid to create the documents, not actually look at them.
Wildlife Investigators Say Goose Was Crushed by Falling “Project Completion Estimate: 2023” Sign Near LSU Lakes
The LSU Lakes project reportedly entered a new phase this week after investigators concluded a goose was crushed by a rotting construction sign promising completion back in 2023.
East Baton Rouge Library System Quietly Classified as Louisiana’s Third-Largest Financial Institution
Baton Rouge residents were shocked this week to learn the parish library system now reportedly has enough reserve funds to qualify for its own regional banking charter.
Ascension Parish Man Spends Entire Hurricane Prep Budget on Ice Chest That Can Hold 24 Cases of Beer
Louisiana officials confirmed one Prairieville family spent their entire hurricane prep budget on a luxury ice chest capable of surviving conditions slightly worse than the actual house.
St. George Gym Adds Separate Membership Tier for People Who Only Sit in Parking Lot
Local gym owners say the new “Parking Lot Plus” membership is perfect for anyone whose fitness journey currently consists of opening the gym app from their truck.
Louisiana Fake Inspection Sticker Dealers Forced to Transition Into Making Fake Temporary Tags
Louisiana officials may have ended inspection stickers, but experts say the state’s thriving fake temporary tag economy is already preparing to absorb thousands of displaced entrepreneurs.
Louisiana Residents Begin Ranking Cities by Number of Daiquiri Shops Per Capita
A new Louisiana study found residents are now ranking cities almost entirely by the number of nearby drive-thru daiquiri shops, replacing outdated metrics like schools, roads, and overall quality of life.
East Baton Rouge Leaders Encourage Residents to Lower Expectations to Improve Overall Satisfaction Ratings
Baton Rouge leaders reportedly believe the key to improving public satisfaction isn’t fixing problems, but convincing residents to stop expecting roads, traffic, and drainage to function in the first place.
Study: Marijuana Users Saving Hundreds by Driving Down Sherwood With Windows Down
LSU researchers say Baton Rouge drivers are saving hundreds on marijuana simply by sitting in Sherwood Forest traffic with the windows down long enough to miss two green lights in a row.
Louisiana School System Introduces New “Career Ready” Program Focused Entirely on Filing Insurance Claims
Louisiana schools are finally preparing students for real life by teaching flood claims, roof tarping, and how to argue with insurance adjusters before hurricane season starts again.
Baton Rouge HOA Fence Dispute Enters Fourth Generation of Family Involvement
Baton Rouge HOA residents are now involving entire bloodlines in a years-long Facebook war over fence height. The original fence may be gone, but the arguments remain stronger than ever.
Baton Rouge Drivers Continue Proud Tradition Of Missing Entire Green Light While Looking At Phone
Baton Rouge drivers are reportedly preserving one of the city’s oldest traditions, sitting through entire green lights while checking their phones and accelerating precisely as the light turns red again.