East Baton Rouge Mosquitoes Ask Parish For Second Facility To Accommodate Their Rapid Growth
East Baton Rouge mosquitoes are reportedly seeking a second parish facility after years of population growth left the current headquarters unable to meet demand.
Chicago School Officials Say Former EBR Head Offers “Rare Ability to Spend $160 Million Without Causing Measurable Change”
Chicago officials praised the former EBR Superintendent’s ability to convert millions into strategic plans, meetings, and studies, calling it “a level of consistency we rarely see at this scale.”
Jeff Landry Announces New Earthquake Response Office, Staffed With 14 Friends From Campaign
After a rare earthquake shook northwest Louisiana, Governor Jeff Landry announced a brand new state agency to address future tremors, immediately staffing the office with 14 trusted allies from his recent campaign.
Legislature Promises to Protect Budget Stability by Creating 14 New Committees to Study It
Louisiana finally finds budget stability, immediately places it under investigation. Fourteen committees now studying whether calm financial conditions pose a threat to long-standing traditions.
East Baton Rouge Metro Council Accused of Violating State Constitution, Requests Copy to See What’s In It
A lawsuit alleges the Metro Council violated the state constitution, prompting members to request a copy to review what’s actually in it.
LA Governor’s Mansion to Be Rebuilt in Mississippi After Insurance Renewal Hits All-Time High
Louisiana officials confirmed plans to relocate the Governor’s Mansion to Woodville, Mississippi, citing skyrocketing insurance costs and a flood risk so high it required evacuation drills. A spokesperson said the move was necessary to avoid “financial ruin,” adding that Woodville offers better drainage — and easier access to Illusions, the town’s lone gentleman’s club.
NOLA Mayor’s Travel Ban Ruled Unconstitutional Under the “Treat Yo’ Self” Clause
A New Orleans judge ruled Mayor Cantrell’s travel privileges are constitutionally protected under what some are calling the “Treat Yo’ Self” clause. Council members are furious, and the mayor is reportedly booking a “healing retreat” already.
Mayor Cantrell Asks School Board if They’ll Take a Post-Dated $10 Million Check for Payment
After being ordered to pay $10 million to the Orleans Parish School Board, Mayor LaToya Cantrell reportedly handed over a post-dated check, reassuring officials, “Y’all don’t run that yet, I’m waiting on my taxes to hit, k?” The school board is still considering its options.