Landry Expands Constitutional Carry to Include Harpoons Ahead of Greenland Transition
The expansion clarifies that Louisiana residents may openly carry harpoons so long as they are visible.
Jeff Landry Mandates Live Polar Bears Appear at All Future Greenland Football Games, Calls It “Tradition-Building”
Greenland tried football without traditions. Jeff Landry fixed that by mandating live polar bears on the sidelines, proving Louisiana solutions work everywhere, regardless of climate, common sense, or liability laws.
Landry Signs Executive Order to Build Tony Chachere’s Distribution Center in Greenland After Discovering Food There Has “No Real Seasoning”
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry signed an executive order exporting Tony Chachere’s to Greenland after determining the region’s cuisine lacked seasoning, heat, and any understanding of what “make it taste right” means.