BREC Officials Admit They Forgot About Central’s Parks, Cite ‘Map Was Folded Over’
BREC officials admitted this week they forgot Central had parks at all, blaming a decades-old map with a crease over the area. As Central moves to reclaim control, BREC insists on keeping fuel allocations for parks it neglected—citing audit traditions. Locals just want kids to stop needing tetanus shots after going down the slide.
Central Mayor Storms Baton Rouge City Hall Demanding Credit for Discovering The Sadvocate
Central Mayor Wade Evans says he dove under a Spanish Town float for a Sadvocate tumbler, printed his own shirt, and now Baton Rouge is trying to ride the irony wave he created. “Pick a different fake news source,” he demanded.
Central School Raccoons Allowed to Stay on Buses After Behaving Better Than Students
CENTRAL, La – In an unexpected turn, school administrators managed to convince the Central Bus Drivers Association to let raccoons, recently found on the buses, stay onboard. They pointed out the raccoons were better at following instructions and less disruptive than the kids. Officials said the raccoons were quieter, more orderly, and didn’t cause much […]