SHREVEPORT, LA – After nearly three years of promising spending cuts, House Speaker Mike Johnson announced he may return home and cut something that does not require congressional approval.
“I remain committed to making meaningful reductions,” Johnson said, standing beside a lawn mower. “Ideally, somewhere between two and three inches.”
Johnson said the transition to lawn care would allow him to finally deliver visible cuts without negotiating with Democrats, Senate leadership, and six Republicans who agree with him but need to go on television first.
His proposed business, Johnson’s Fiscal Landscaping, promises smaller lawns, balanced hedges, and a firm commitment to eliminating unnecessary growth.
Early customers expressed cautious optimism after Johnson arrived to assess an overgrown yard and immediately requested another ninety days.
“I understand the grass is getting taller,” Johnson explained. “But cutting it today could shut down the entire lawn.”
