BATON ROUGE, LA – In a shocking yet oddly believable admission, Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development officials confirmed Monday that the long-term strategy for Baton Rouge’s I-10 gridlock isn’t construction, it’s attrition.
“Frankly, it’s cheaper to wait you out,” said one LADOTD spokesperson, adjusting a stack of unused blueprints. “Why spend billions on new lanes when most of today’s drivers will be in retirement homes or cemeteries by the time we’d finish anyway?”
The agency admitted that the 2031 target date was selected not for engineering feasibility but for demographic convenience. “By then, the heaviest traffic will be walkers shuffling down nursing home hallways,” the official explained.
Commuters weren’t surprised. “I already factor an extra hour into my drive just to scream into the steering wheel,” said one driver stuck near the Washington Street exit for the third consecutive presidency.
Still, LADOTD insists it’s not ignoring the problem. “We’re expanding I-10,” the spokesperson added. “Just not in your lifetime.”
