Ole Miss Fans Form Task Force to Investigate Why Their Feelings Didn’t Override a $4 Million Raise for Kiffin

Ole Miss fans have formed TEARS, a taskforce investigating how their hurt feelings failed to outweigh a multimillion-dollar raise, despite overwhelming evidence that $4 million tends to win negotiations.
Lane Kiffin Says He Chose LSU For Tradition, Passion, And “The Unmatched Quality Of Baton Rouge Gas Station Food”

Lane Kiffin’s first LSU press appearance took an unexpected turn when he praised Baton Rouge’s gas-station cuisine as a deciding factor in his move. Fans shrugged, noting that understanding hot-bar culture is practically a requirement for the job.