BATON ROUGE, La. – Governor Jeff Landry has unveiled a bold new plan to make crawfish completely tax-free, declaring it “a fundamental right of every Louisianan” while doubling taxes on vegan and plant-based foods to balance the budget.
“Crawfish aren’t just food, they’re a way of life,” Landry proclaimed. “And in this state, we stand by tradition.”
The proposal has sent Louisiana’s vegan community into an uproar, with plant-based eaters organizing a mass protest at the state capitol. In response, Landry announced he’d be hosting a government-sponsored crawfish boil right outside the protest—complete with free bibs, butter, and Zydeco music.
Critics have slammed the move as “unbelievably petty,” while Landry insists the proposal is fair, saying, “It’s simple: If you eat crawfish, you get a break. If you eat grass, you get taxed. That’s just how the bayou works.”
And if the governor’s recent hints are to be believed, boudin lovers might be next in line for a taste of tax-free freedom.
