Activists Burning Teslas Defend Actions Citing ‘We Used Matches Made from Reclaimed Wood’
Former Tesla fans are now lighting their electric cars on fire to protest Elon Musk, claiming the act is environmentally sound because they used reclaimed wood matches. “We’re burning the future sustainably,” one protester said while fanning the smoke with a reusable tote.
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Colonize Siegen Lane, Says It’s More Dangerous Than Mars but Has Better Food
In an unprecedented shift from space travel, Elon Musk has announced plans to colonize Siegen Lane, citing its “hostile environment, unpredictable inhabitants, and the highest concentration of fast food restaurants per square mile outside the Deep South.”