BATON ROUGE, LA – In response to mounting complaints from students hit with hefty camera-generated parking fines near campus Starbucks, LSU officials announced a new financial aid solution this week: the Parking Fine Consolidation Loan.
The optional program allows students to roll all unpaid citations into one convenient, long-term loan at a “competitive” 9.8% interest rate, slightly higher than most federal student loans but, according to administrators, “slightly easier to process.”
“We understand students are already balancing tuition, books, housing, and the occasional $187 coffee-related traffic violation,” said a university spokesperson. “This simply streamlines their debt experience.”
Under the plan, students can choose a standard 20-year repayment schedule or opt for income-driven repayment, which caps monthly payments at 12% of discretionary income and extends repayment into their early forties.
Parents expressed relief that their children now have “structure” around their financial ruin. Meanwhile, juniors reported that their cumulative parking debt has officially surpassed the value of their used vehicles.
University officials confirmed that missed parking loan payments may result in the student’s diploma being briefly immobilized with a small orange boot until the balance is brought current.
