BATON ROUGE, LA – Citing an unsteady budget and years of financial mismanagement under the previous administration, the City-Parish on Monday announced its newest compensation initiative, the Supplemental Income Delivery Experiment Helping Uniformed Staff Through Low Earnings aka SIDE HUSTLE. Under the plan, BRPD officers will be permitted to run Door Dash and Uber Eats deliveries during their shifts, a move leaders described as “forward-thinking” and “very consistent with modern policing, apparently.”
According to city officials, officers may accept delivery orders whenever crime is “at a manageable level,” a phrase they declined to clarify despite reporters asking three separate times. BRPD units will be outfitted with insulated hot bags and a small magnet on the door reading “SIDE HUSTLE UNIT,” a branding element the mayor’s office insisted was necessary “to build public trust in the program.”
Residents should expect to see police units multitasking across the parish, with officers responding to calls only after dropping off whatever combo meal or smoothie they’re already transporting. The City-Parish stressed that emergency response times “should remain stable,” except in cases where an officer is stuck in a Popeyes drive-thru, which leaders acknowledged is “basically all day.”
One officer summed up the mood: “I took this job to serve my community, not to serve their combo meals.” The city-parish thanked him for his feedback but recommended he try Lyft or Uber if he really wanted to cash in.
The Metro Council is also scheduled to vote on whether officers will be required to pay the standard 95 percent city fee on all SIDE HUSTLE earnings, a proposal officials insist is “consistent with existing revenue structures.”
