NEW ORLEANS, LA – A homeless man near the Caesars Superdome has reportedly built an entire shelter out of unsold Saints & Pelican tickets, claiming it was “the cheapest construction material in Louisiana.”
“I went to Home Depot first,” said 58-year-old Ronnie Dupre. “Everything was ridiculously overpriced, besides, I don’t have a truck to move any of it with. Saints tickets were fifty cents a stack and came with free Carr shirt. They didn’t even ask me for money when I bought sections 105 thru 108 for the next Pelicans game.”
Dupre said he chose the tickets simply because they were cheaper than real materials. “Lumber was too high, and tarps don’t last,” he said. “These tickets are everywhere!”
Officials acknowledged the ingenuity, noting it’s the first time team merchandise has provided actual shelter. “We’re proud to see our tickets finally protecting someone,” said a Saints spokesperson. “They may not stop the rain, but at least they’re keeping someone covered, which is more than we can say for our defense.”
Dupre told The Sadvocate he’s already drawing up plans for a patio and swimming pool made entirely out of LSU tickets provided the school’s head coach and athletic director situation continues to fall apart.
