BATON ROUGE, LA – In a move critics are calling “outrageous,” the East Baton Rouge Parish Library system announced the addition of a $40 million ballroom to its downtown branch, describing it as a “critical educational space” where officials can more comfortably explain why they still need more tax revenue despite sitting on over $140 million in cash.
Library leadership said traditional meeting rooms no longer provide the “appropriate ambiance” for presentations about growing their already gigantic reserves. The new ballroom reportedly includes floor-to-ceiling velvet drapery, crystal fixtures, and a sound system powerful enough to drown out the faint sobbing from public safety agencies who haven’t seen real funding since the Jindal era.
Officials assured residents the ballroom is a “responsible investment” designed to “improve public understanding” of the library’s financial needs. When asked whether BRPD, the DA’s office, or Public Defenders could use the space for their own budget presentations, one library spokesperson reportedly laughed for 14 straight seconds before replying, “This is for literacy.”
Construction begins immediately, pending one final vote that library officials say they are “85% sure taxpayers won’t notice.”
