BATON ROUGE, LA – After another weekend of chaos near LSU’s North Gates, university officials announced plans to add gunfire and police siren sound effects to the football game playlist, a move they say will help fans “stop overreacting” when the real ones start.
The North Gates, located just a few blocks from one of Baton Rouge’s most infamous zip codes, have become a fusion of tailgate energy and urban warfare. “We had to do something,” said an LSU spokesperson. “Every time fans hear a gunshot, they panic. We figured if we add a few to the playlist, they’ll stop worrying about getting shot and go back to taking shots.”
The playlist update reportedly includes “authentic 70802 sound bytes,” featuring distant sirens, gunshots, and realistic engine sounds taken from actual recordings of uninsured Dodge Challengers doing donuts at various intersections in Baton Rouge. LSU’s marketing team insists the new audio additions will make tailgating “feel more immersive,” like being in the city on an average Friday, or really, any night.”
LSU Police confirmed the new soundtrack won’t include return fire, explaining they’re “saving that for playoffs when tensions are higher.” The department says the goal isn’t to scare fans but to “reflect the full Baton Rouge experience, which is unpredictable, noisy, and defined by a constant fear for your life.”
