NEW ORLEANS, LA – Facing growing criticism over her decision to travel abroad while under federal investigation, Mayor LaToya Cantrell announced her upcoming Iceland trip will directly benefit New Orleans residents. According to the mayor, the journey will produce an “innovative infrastructure plan” that will be etched in ancient Viking runes.
“Iceland has a proven record of dealing with extreme conditions, lava, glaciers, even competent public transit,” Cantrell said. “By learning from their traditions, I can return with a plan so advanced that only a handful of scholars will be able to read it. That way, no one can question it.”
City officials explained that the rune-based strategy will address potholes, drainage, and traffic congestion, though it may require residents to consult archaeologists for basic roadwork updates. “Sure, it’ll be indecipherable to most people, but so are our budgets,” one aide said.
The mayor brushed aside accusations of neglect, saying that leadership sometimes requires leaving town until things cool off. Iceland, she noted, has a long history of sagas, and New Orleans will soon have one too, starring a mayor who governed entirely by postcard.
