NEW ORLEANS, LA – In a ceremony as symbolic as the barriers themselves, New Orleans officials proudly handed out the city’s inaugural Participation Trophy in Public Safety, straight to Bourbon Street’s vehicle barricades.
“These barriers may not have stopped a single car, but they’ve consistently looked like they might,” said one councilmember, polishing the trophy before placing it delicately on top of a leaning concrete block. “And that kind of dedication deserves recognition.”
The award was praised as a breakthrough in municipal accountability, acknowledging infrastructure not for results, but for simply existing. One French Quarter bartender noted, “At least the barriers are showing up, unlike half the pothole crews.”
City engineers defended the honor, pointing out that while the barriers fold under the weight of a Kia, they’ve successfully provided tourists with hundreds of Instagram backdrops.
Future upgrades being considered include a fresh coat of paint, inspirational slogans like “You Got This,” and possibly even an actual lock, budget permitting.
For now, Bourbon Street’s barriers proudly stand displaying their shiny new trophy, a reminder that in New Orleans, effort alone is sometimes award-worthy.
