BATON ROUGE, LA – The freshly redrawn election map for the 19th Judicial District Court will officially go into effect this October, and residents might notice a few unfamiliar boundaries. Chief among them: the brand-new “Scandal District,” a specially designated area reserved exclusively for judges who find themselves under ethics review, indictment, or simply caught saying something profoundly stupid on a hot mic.
Officials claim the new district was created to “streamline the judicial process” by consolidating Baton Rouge’s ongoing embarrassment into one convenient voting block. Voters in the Scandal District will be spared from the inconvenience of choosing candidates with clean records, as the ballot will only feature names currently listed in disciplinary filings or resignation rumors.
Critics argue the move normalizes corruption, but defenders insist it’s just an honest reflection of the year so far. “It’s about transparency,” one election official explained. “Now when you drive past the courthouse, you’ll know exactly which wing houses the questionable decisions.”
The Scandal District’s campaign slogan, unveiled Monday, leaves little to the imagination: “We don’t drain the swamp. We zone it.”
