BATON ROUGE, LA – In a step toward lawsuit mitigation, the Baton Rouge Zoo has installed new warning signs throughout the park reading: “Caution: Animals May Be Alive.” The change comes after a bird allegedly bit a child, prompting BREC to argue in court that they had “no reason to suspect” a live animal might do something… alive.
“Frankly, we were shocked too,” said a BREC spokesperson. “No one could’ve predicted a parrot with working beak muscles might use them.”
The new signs accompany others like “Please Do Not Enter the Alligator Pit” and “Feeding the Lions Is Optional, But Not Reversible.”
Visitors expressed mixed reactions. “I thought the zoo was like a museum,” said one father. “You know, stuffed birds and air conditioning.”
BREC officials say they’re also considering audio warnings, animatronic decoys, and possibly replacing all mammals with holograms if the signage fails to work.
Until further notice, guests are advised to assume all animals are alive and potentially hungry.
