ANGOLA, LA – After six weeks on the run, escaped inmate Massey was found just two miles from the Orleans Parish jail comfortably holed up in New Orleans, far from any border or extradition risk. When asked why he never attempted to flee the state, Massey offered a simple explanation: “I’d rather do time than eat Texas gumbo.”
Law enforcement officials say Massey had every opportunity to leave Louisiana, but chose instead to remain among the potholes, 2nd hand weed smoke, and po’boys of home. “It wasn’t laziness,” one officer said. “It was loyalty.”
During his time on the lam, Massey was allegedly spotted in a Mid-City daiquiri shop, an Uptown sno-ball stand, and a crawfish boil where he “blended in by bringing his own folding chair.”
His public defender is now expected to argue that staying in Louisiana shows good faith. “At this point, the only thing Massey fears more than jail time is a bland roux,” he told reporters.
