BATON ROUGE, LA – In a move sure to revolutionize recreational disappointment, Liberty Lagoon has officially launched its new “Virtual Swim Experience,” allowing guests to imagine they’re cooling off without ever touching water.
Faced with a chronic lifeguard shortage and no confirmed opening date, BREC has embraced 21st-century innovation: virtual reality headsets, complete with splashing sound effects and the faint scent of chlorine, will now be handed out at the front gate. “It’s just like the real thing, minus the actual swimming, water, or relief from the heat,” said a BREC spokesperson proudly.
Guests can choose from immersive scenarios like “Lazy River: But Faster” and “Wave Pool: Now With More Anxiety.” A deluxe VIP package lets you digitally cut in line and get into a fight with up to 3 other disappointed people also waiting in line.
“This is the future of public pools,” one official said, wiping sweat from his brow while rebooting a headset in the sun. “Plus, it’s way easier to keep virtual water clean.”
BREC remains hopeful they’ll eventually reopen the real park with real water. Until then, guests are encouraged to hydrate, stay shaded, and pretend they’re not standing in a parking lot holding goggles that display a JPEG of a splash pad.
