BAKER, La. – A group of unidentified horseback riders galloped through the Baker Walmart on Tuesday night, startling shoppers, delighting children, and breaking the store’s already fragile sense of order.

The riders, who have yet to be identified, allegedly trotted through multiple aisles before exiting through Lawn & Garden like it was a portal back to 1887.

“Look, have you used the self-checkout lately?” said one anonymous rider through a bandana. “Between the machine freezing, the red light flashing, and some poor kid with a key walking a 5K just to approve your cat litter—riding a horse through was honestly more efficient.”

Baker Police confirmed they’re reviewing footage, though one officer downplayed the incident. “Honestly, that wasn’t even close to the wildest thing that’s happened in that Walmart,” he said. 

Meanwhile, Walmart has issued a statement reminding customers that “while we welcome all modes of transportation, they must fit in a standard parking space and not defecate on aisle 9.”