Baton Rouge, La. – In what experts are calling “a masterclass in absurdity,” Baton Rouge city officials are suspected of orchestrating real-life chaos so outlandish that satire is struggling to compete.

Between the Brave Cave scandal, the CATS bus strike, and the public library somehow sitting on millions while the city’s theater goes broke, locals say real news is now indistinguishable from parody.

“They’re trying to kill The Sadvocate by making actual headlines funnier than our fake ones,” said a political correspondent at the company. “We can’t top this. We’re finished.”

Even the city council has joined in, with Cleve Dunn single-handedly supplying enough controversy for an entire season of a political drama.

While the administration denies these allegations, leaked memos suggest officials are considering their next move: converting the Brave Cave into a boutique bed & breakfast, with former Mayor Sharon Weston Broome as the host and former Police Chief Murphy Paul as Director of Guest Experience.

“Honestly, we’d try to satirize this, but the city keeps beating us to it,” said The Sadvocate’s public information director in a statement. “At this point, we’re just going to start publishing City Hall’s meeting minutes and call it a day.”