BATON ROUGE, La. – A newly released legislative audit has exposed Thrive Academy’s shockingly streamlined hiring process, which consists of a single, deeply philosophical interview question: “You good?”

If the candidate nods, they’re immediately given a contract, a classroom, and possibly a key to the school gym. If they hesitate or ask for details, they’re deemed “too high maintenance” and swiftly escorted out.

“We believe in efficiency,” said the academy’s hiring coordinator. “Why waste time with background checks, resumes, or qualifications when you can just vibe check someone?”

The audit found that this method led to several questionable hires, including a substitute teacher who was actually just a confused DoorDash driver and a math teacher who openly admitted he “ain’t too good with numbers.”

Despite concerns, the school stands by its process. “Look, it’s worked most of the time. And when it doesn’t, we just, you know, hire someone else.”