BATON ROUGE, La – In an unprecedented move, the East Baton Rouge Parish School System has announced a multi-million dollar partnership with the UFC to livestream student fights across several local campuses.

Following a rash of recent altercations—one of which included a parent and a basketball coach—the school district saw an opportunity to turn chaos into cash. “We’re always looking for other revenue streams that make sense,” said Superintendent Lamont Cole by telephone from his winter home in Lake Tahoe. “With the UFC’s global audience, their sudden interest in our students’ fighting skills after seeing all the Tik Toks, and the enormous raise I gave myself on day 1 that left us broke AF, this deal just made sense,” Cole told us.

The agreement, reportedly worth millions of dollars, will provide professional camera crews at all major fight hotspots, including bus transfer spots, gymnasiums, and select cafeterias. “We are also introducing weight classes since we have several legal adults still in 7th and even 8th grade,” Cole told us. “That wouldn’t be fair to the guys who aren’t on their 4th or 5th try at passing those grades,” he said.

The announcement of this contract has allowed the EBR school district to approve a 27% salary increase for all faculty and administration, which will make EBR one of the highest-paying school districts in the state.

The first pay-per-view event, tentatively titled “Friday Night Fights: Detention Edition,” is set to debut next month, with early betting odds favoring a 21-year-old sophomore from Belaire High known only as “Lil Mayhem.”