New Orleans Solves Teacher Shortage by Hiring Unconvicted Felons
Struggling with failing schools and skyrocketing crime, city officials have found a two-for-one solution: hiring criminals as teachers.
LADOTD to Celebrate 30th Anniversary of Bridge Studies with Festival
The Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) is planning a massive festival to recognize the upcoming 30th anniversary of their ongoing Mississippi River Bridge study project, which will soon reach a staggering $150 million in expenses.
New Orleans Mayor Names Bourbon Street Hustler as Tourism Ambassador During Paris Gala
Mayor LaToya Cantrell has outdone herself, naming Danette Colbert, the infamous “Bourbon Street Hustler,” as New Orleans’ new Tourism Ambassador during a bougie, taxpayer-funded soirée at the Palace of Versailles.
Man Accused of Burglarizing Business Near Cortana Mall
WBRZ reports that the BRPD was sent to investigate an attempted burglary at a business near Cortana Mall recently.
Louisiana Governor Changes Name of Lake Ponchartrain to Lake Landry
Governor Jeff Landry has officially announced that Lake Pontchartrain will be renamed Lake Landry in honor of himself. “Pontchartrain was a French guy. I’m a Louisiana guy. It just makes sense,” Landry stated while posing next to a freshly printed “Welcome to Lake Landry” sign.
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order on Public Service Commissioner’s Social Media Use
BATON ROUGE, La – In a groundbreaking effort to uphold the integrity of Louisiana politics, Governor Jeff Landry has issued Executive Order No. 2025-WTF-013, officially permitting Public Service Commissioner Davante Lewis to continue posting insults about the governor online—but with one strict condition. “Mr. Lewis is free to post whatever he likes about me,” Landry […]
BRPD Set to Commission Dozens of Parish Librarians to Respond to Emergency Calls
BATON ROUGE, La —After pushback on the mayor’s suggestion of reallocating a portion of library funds to address a police shortage and budget deficit, city officials have found a compromise: commissioning librarians and sending them out to assist the BRPD by responding to overflow calls between the hours of 9 pm and 5 am. Through […]
Central School Raccoons Allowed to Stay on Buses After Behaving Better Than Students
CENTRAL, La – In an unexpected turn, school administrators managed to convince the Central Bus Drivers Association to let raccoons, recently found on the buses, stay onboard. They pointed out the raccoons were better at following instructions and less disruptive than the kids. Officials said the raccoons were quieter, more orderly, and didn’t cause much […]
Reinstated LSU Law Professor Launches ‘How to Get Paid by Taxpayers for Complaining About Politics 101’ Course
BATON ROUGE, La – After a brief suspension for using his classroom as a platform for political rants, LSU law professor Ken Levy is back and teaching a new course: “How to Get Paid by Taxpayers for Complaining About Politics 101.” “Why focus primarily on teaching law when you can throw in a couple of […]
St. George Mayoral Candidate Demonstrates Ability to Make Problems Go Away Instantly by Deleting Tough Questions Online
In a bold display of problem-solving prowess, St. George mayoral candidate Jim Morgan has showcased his ability to make challenges disappear—by repeatedly deleting his own campaign posts when questioned by several voters.
EBR Public Schools Strike Deal with UFC to Livestream Campus Fights
BATON ROUGE, La – In an unprecedented move, the East Baton Rouge Parish School System has announced a multi-million dollar partnership with the UFC to livestream student fights across several local campuses. Following a rash of recent altercations—one of which included a parent and a basketball coach—the school district saw an opportunity to turn chaos […]
Ascension Parish President Slaps Baton Rouge With 25% Tariff
GONZALES, La – Ascension Parish officials have announced a sweeping new tariff on Baton Rouge residents crossing parish lines, citing an “unfair trade imbalance” between the two communities. “We’re tired of overcrowded schools, packed restaurants, and reckless drivers behind the wheels of those damned Nissan Altimas from Baton Rouge,” said Ascension Parish President Clint Cointment. […]